No visuals, as I"m pluggin along.
But I have had some great crits.
The dialogue bit, I had taken as far as I knew how. Most recent crit was to simplify and strengthen for clarity. I've had some one else remark that I "had a lot going on," in it. So, i'm thinking the problem is the hand slap and the mouth pop are too close together, and then the hand shaking and head shaking are distracting from each other. Alos my polish needs work, and its still hitting some walls.
Fixing the wall hits is no problem, not entirely sure about how to up the polish, and I have some ideas for the simplyfing. I'm still clueless on the mouths. I'm thinking leave the hand on the table with the hit, keep the attention on the head, and on the final hit, where the hand goes forward, keep that in there, but take out some of the hand shaking. Also, get rid of some of the head wagging.
The long armed piece is coming along. Still over complicated I think, but, too late to change it at this point. I'm trying to get that sort of thing taken care of in blocking, so I need to make my blocking more clear, so people can catch this stuff earlier on. I HATE redoing tail end work. After a certain point, and cencept is signed off on, I'd like to finish it up according to plan. These are wishes, as every production on earth has last minute changes by directors and creators who don't know what they want till they see it.
Ideally, early in the shot in my long armed piece, I'd get the focus of the audience on the hand thats going to trip, much sooner. How ever, this piece has been evolving from just a few jumps of the long armed guy, to adding the second character, and everything else, and I'd pretty much be re=animating the whole beginning, which is irritating. Its "working" as it is, but I completely agree that would make it stronger. I'm hopeing in the future, when I have some direction of my shots, these sorts of problems can be avoided a little more. We'll see. Updates to show come early next week.